Hello. I’m Tom and I am an ADDICT.
I have always been an addict and I will always be an addict.
I am now, however, an abstinent addict rather than an active addict.
The difference between those two positions is not just simply that I am no longer using. It’s a whole lot more than that.
- I am no longer deeply unhappy and suicidal.
- I am no longer having a hugely detrimental impact on the lives of my friends, family and pretty much everyone I meet.
- I am no longer deeply ashamed of who I am and what I’ve done.
- I am no longer self-destructing and praying for my life to be over!
In fact, today, as I write this, I am happy. More happy in fact than I’ve ever been in my life. If you had asked me 6 months ago if this was possible I would have said no way. In fact, what I would have said would have been incoherent, nonsensical gibberish because I was totally incapacitated!
So let’s go back a mere six months…….
I was in despair. Planning my own suicide and desperate for the pain to end. I was done, broken, exhausted, confused and miserable. My addiction had destroyed everything I cared about most in my world and I didn’t want my life anymore. Not the way it was, I wanted a way out.
I had tried numerous times to get help before throughout my life but due to the multi-faceted nature of my problems, I had never found a way forward. An approach that would look at all the issues I faced together and how they intricately interacted with one another. The public health system in the UK just simply does not have the systems in place to deal with mental health and addiction issues together, as one. A counsellor I had seen weekly for a while once told me that the only place I would be able to get the professional support I needed to address the addiction and mental health issues together was Harley Street in London. That was financially out of reach for me.
Six months ago, I went to my mother and I told her I was desperate, and I needed professional help. I thought rehab might be the answer, but I had nothing, no idea how to go about it or financial means to make it happen. She called a friend who worked as an addiction counsellor. This friend made a few suggestions but also put us on to a friend of hers. A recovering addict, now working in addiction services, he told us about Twin Rivers Rehab in South Africa. It seemed like the place for me, somewhere capable and with a proven track record of working with clients with a complicated multitude of issues.
I managed to get the financial support needed by my immediate family. This was not easy and was a very difficult request to make. I had spent years being a selfish and destructive guy blowing all my money on narcotics! Nevertheless, they agreed to help, but why in South Africa they asked? Can’t you do it here? My mother and I had spent a long time discussing this. Was Tom, the addict, just taking advantage again, merely looking for a nice long holiday in a beautiful country? But we could see the sense in it as, for a start it was considerably cheaper than UK options and It also had a better reputation then any we had looked at in the UK. I certainly wouldn’t be able to run away easily like I would in the UK! And if you are going to deal with a lifetime of addiction and trauma and you suffer with depression then nice weather and beautiful surroundings could make a massive positive difference.
I arrived at Twin Rivers a week later. Feeling scared, Confused, tired, miserable and hopeless yet it turned out to be the best decision I have ever made in my life.
The multi-disciplined team of counsellors at Twin Rivers along with the excellent psychiatrist they have partnered with managed to finally help me! My Bi-polar disorder was quickly recognised and brought under control with effective and minimal medication.
My personality disorder concerning Co-dependency was exposed for the first time and through the dedication of the focused counselling team I have learnt how to manage this and minimise the impact this has on my life.
Through better understanding of these issues and how they interact with the disease that is my addiction I have managed to start my life over. Life isn’t always easy but it’s manageable, without the desire for narcotics, for the first time in over 25 years.
So why contact me?
Well as a former Client of Twin Rivers I can speak from personal experience of how their unique approach to recovery can change your life. As an addict who has not only had difficulties with most substances throughout his life but also with depression and co-dependency I can try and offer support in times of crisis without judgement. As a recovering addict and whilst in Twin Rivers I have made friends with people suffering with all sorts of addictions including gambling, computer gaming, sexual addiction and substance abuse so if I cannot relate to you I can find someone who would be delighted to reach out and offer you support.
Taking the step to get in touch is not easy so you need to be brave. But it can change your life, completely. I am living proof of that as are all the team at Twin Rivers both in the UK and in South Africa. If calling is too hard to start with then feel free to just drop me a WhatsApp message. I will not call you until you are ready, we can simply chat over message until you are ready to take the next step.
Be brave. Change is possible. Please get in touch. Your new life is within reach.